Settling Into Newness

After Relocation

My dream of relocation to a new country has been realized. My decision to relocate has a history of its own. It began in 2019 with solo travel outside the United States. Then curating retreats as a way of scouting various international places.

The goal was to find a place to begin anew. My “why” was to live a life and a lifestyle of creativity outside of the toxic corporate arena that I’d put myself into for over 30 years. Also, at the age of 50 something, I had dusty plans and experiences sitting on a shelf. I wanted to take steps toward several transformational changes for the purpose of healing myself.

In March 2022, I completed a scouting trip as part of a three month sabbatical in Portugal. Porto, Portugal with its comparative smallness, friendliness and positive energy chose me out of other small towns, country sides and the capital city of Lisbon. It took me over two years to return to Porto with a visa in hand. In July 2024, I took a direct flight to Porto with 10 suitcases in tow to create comfort and ease when I landed.

I’m still settling in.

I knew once I arrived, I’d need to rest while unpacking the contents of bags and totes that had been shipped. I found I was still trying to discard anger along with disappointment that had followed me. I was in the cycles of grief. Believing that rest, in its many forms, would provide the energy I needed to get into a groove, I found that it was more like an illusion than a reality.

The new apartment, surrounding neighborhood and the small group of people I met early in my arrival provided the buzz I sought. While the continued bureaucracy to meet residency requirements was the distraction and blockage to achieving the coziness and comfort I desired, I became anxious and unnerved.

Months of new experiences brought me to a place of uncertainty and questioning my decisions. Through introspection and even self observation, I found that I was learning just as much about myself as I was about the place where I had moved. I got quiet and allowed myself grace for my creative endeavors. I stopped rushing my writing, business pursuits, as well as the process of slowly cultivating yummy community relationships I’d envisioned.

I’m still settling in but not settling for anything.

It’s taken me 15 months to realize that the newness I love about my relocation and the experiences I’ve encountered, won’t allow me to settle in anytime soon. There is nothing quick about this process.

Settling in requires looking into oneself, loving yourself and appreciating yourself in the newness that surrounds. Settling for anything less than learning and growing would be a quick fix to my health and wellness. There are no quick fixes. Getting comfortable in any new space takes time. I’ll take the time.

I’ve received many visitors since my move. Curiosity about Portugal and how I like it is constant. My dull, lackluster responses have disappointed some. As I haven’t focused so much on the place as I have been trying to gain my footing. It’s also because I try to spare those who are seeking a fantastical point of view that delights all of the senses. I can honestly say that my sensibilities are not so much like others. I find beauty in the strangest things. I also have found that where I landed is suitable for me. It’s a place of peace, natural beauty and kindness. As they say in Porto, “it’s a feeling” that you get - I equate it to soulfulness.

Artist, Joel Duntin said it best in his beautiful Instagram post as he refers to the Celtic spiritual concept of “thin places”:

Places don’t heal us⁣.

They don’t take away our sadness⁣.

They don’t mend our broken parts ⁣

⁣I think what they do ⁣

Is even more magical⁣

⁣I think places⁣

let us in⁣

They hold us close⁣

just long enough⁣

for us to see ourselves⁣. . .

I’m settling into my thin place as the newness wears off and each magical moment continues my healing process.

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